Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
