Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Randomize
