We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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