I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
