idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
