you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
