literally had 100 drinks last night.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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