And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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