the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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