Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
