She went from zero to smokin in five shots
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
