finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize