dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
