Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
