he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
