You work out of a Hotel?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
