quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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