I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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