Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
COCAINE IS GR8
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
