so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
