I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
