That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
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I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
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Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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