a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
