what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
