im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
