If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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