Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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