No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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