they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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