We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
