$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
