You're completely useless in the revolution.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
