Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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