youre lurking in front of me
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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