Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
