I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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