Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
40s are totally the cure
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
