I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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