you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Two words: nipple clamps
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