I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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