How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
