Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
