Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
