Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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