talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
