Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
