You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Randomize