I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
