We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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