So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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