Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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