Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
