Well douche your snatch and let's go!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
