why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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