nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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