Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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