You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
