Michael Bay diarrhea
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
