Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
