So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Pants are for mortals
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
