On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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