Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You took a bar mat shot.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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